Sometimes life gets a little busy and you have to make extra efforts for self care, for downtime and rejuvenation, and maybe just a little bit of nothing. This show is a lot about nothing, with a meandering conversation about all of the busy happenings in Kathy’s and Michelle’s lives over the last few weeks. Join us as we talk about all of the little nothings that somehow add up to something.
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Start your week smiling with your friends Kathy Zant and Michelle Frechette. It’s time to get ready for some weekly motivation with WP Motivate.
I don’t think I’ve ever started a show with happy Monday, Kathy.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: Is that a thing?
[00:00:20] Speaker A: I don’t know. Must be happy. I hope they’re always happy when I get to see you.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I’ve missed you. We’ve been pretty busy past couple of weeks.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: We have. I know. And I finally got our episode out that we recorded two weeks ago, like last Friday, I think. Life has been busy. It’s been insanely busy. So we’ll get this one out in the next couple of days. People are going to be like, wow, didn’t I just listen to them? Like, yes, we’re catching up now.
[00:00:49] Speaker B: We are catching up. Back in the swing of things. No trips and crazy stuff going on.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: October has been just like with activity. I’m looking forward please.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: November just like you could be as.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Long as you want. Just smooth, easy disruption.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: But Black Friday, Cyber Monday is coming, so there’s no such thing as smooth in our industry.
Forget I said that.
[00:01:25] Speaker B: Maybe I’ll take to October.
[00:01:27] Speaker A: We’ll just keep it. We’ll just keep it. It’s all good.
Well, I revealed my Halloween costume this.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: Morning for yeah, I saw the picture.
[00:01:38] Speaker A: On WP Builds this week in WordPress this morning and if you’ve all missed it, I’ll put a link in the show notes. But I was dressed up as the this is fine dog, complete with fake flames behind me made out of construction paper. The bowler hat, the dog mask. I had to wear my glasses over it, so it was a little inauthentic. But I also am not a dog, so that part’s already inauthentic.
So I turned my camera on and Nathan’s laughing and everybody’s laughing and people are putting in the comments how perfect it is and Nathan’s like, so what are like, I’m the meme. He’s like, what? Meme like, oh, Nathan, you gotta stop living under a rock, dude. But we showed him the meme and then he was like, oh, that’s funny. And he thanked me again afterwards for making it funny, humorous and everything. So I thought it was pretty good. I did tweet it out and I know you’ve seen it, but yeah, it was a lot of fun to put together.
[00:02:39] Speaker B: That is so cool.
[00:02:40] Speaker A: Yeah. My new mom. This is fine.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: I think you showed me a preview a couple of months ago.
[00:02:45] Speaker A: I did.
[00:02:46] Speaker B: I knew it was coming, but so cool. I’m so glad that it went over. And nathan. Yeah.
We’re going to have to start sending him all of the memes, keep him up with talking about I know.
[00:03:00] Speaker A: I’m already like, what am I going to be next year? It’s going to be the Drake meme.
I don’t think I could pass as Drake and I’m not going to do blackface. That is not a thing.
But even so I could put on the puffy jacket. I could do drink, but I don’t think so. So we have to figure it out. It’ll be something different for next year. If anybody has ideas that they think I can pull off next year, I got a whole year to plan it now, so let me know.
But that was fun. That was funny.
It was cool. I ordered the mask and the hat like a million years ago. I swear. It was like August or something.
And then the hardest part was getting the this is fine thought bubble, which is speech bubble attached to attached to the hat. If you’re watching, you can see this. Yeah, but I got it to attach to the hat so that when I was wearing it, it just looked like I was saying, this is fine, like the dog in the perfect.
And this morning I laminated it so it would have a little more starch in it, so to speak. A little more stiffness to yeah.
Yeah. Maybe that’s the title of this episode is this is Fine, Everything’s Fine because the day to day sometimes sucks. Kathy we don’t always talk about the negative stuff on here, but I have parents who are in and out of the hospital constantly. My mother falls at least once or twice a week where she lives, and if she can’t get herself up off the floor, that’s an ambulance call, because where she lives, they’re not allowed to lift her. So then the ambulance has to come out and they have to get her up off the ground, and then they have to evaluate whether she should be taken to the hospital or not.
80, 90% of the time to the ambulance ride to make sure she hasn’t broken anything.
And a week and a half ago, my stepfather went into the hospital again.
He’s towards the end of his life, he’s got congestive heart failure, COPD emphysema, lung cancer.
It’s all stacked against him. And he came home from the hospital. I want to say I don’t remember exactly what day it was. Sunday, maybe. And Monday, my mother falls and the ambulance comes out to pick her up, and they take one look at him and think, he’s going, too. His oxygen is, like, in the 80s, his oxygen percentage. So they took them both to the hospital. She came home that day. He’s still there. It’s been over a week.
Yeah. So life is not always easy to move through. There are days when I just don’t want to get out of bed, and I think that’s normal. But I also know that that’s part of my mental health is proclivity towards anxiety and depression. And so I think about those things and work on those things a lot and motivate myself to work through some of those things as I can and see a doctor when I need to about those kinds of things.
But, yeah, thank God for weekends. Except that family doesn’t stop on weekends.
[00:06:09] Speaker B: They don’t stop during the week when you’re working either, do they?
[00:06:14] Speaker A: Do not.
[00:06:16] Speaker B: It is nonstop. Yeah.
So this time of year, the heat just kicked on. It was like 100 degrees, like a couple of days ago. I swear. We had like two days of fall and the heat kicked on. And this is the time of year my husband’s stroke was mid November. So there’s something about the heat kicking on that I just have this maybe it’s the smell or something where I am just like PTSD to two years ago, and it’s just like I don’t know if I can fully live in this house long term because I just have so many. Like it’s just so clouded with yeah, it’s so clouded with those memories. So yeah, like yesterday, I never sleep in. I never sleep in. I got dogs that want walks. The Dachshund, especially, he’s just like, oh, I’m up, it’s time to go. And if you’re not?
Yeah, I threw a blanket over him, though, and I slept until 08:00 in the morning. That never happened.
Sometimes you have to.
[00:07:19] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. For me, sleeping in is eleven, but I’m happy for your 08:00 a.m..
I know what you mean. I know what you mean. I don’t have those same responsibilities you do. My cats just feed at the dish and go in the litter box so I don’t have to let anybody out. And I’m the only one that lives there, so I only have to be responsible for my own getting to the bathroom in the morning, which is usually what does wake me up, like, damn, that extra glass of water before after 08:00.
[00:07:50] Speaker B: P.m.. Oh, yeah.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: And I know we’ve talked a lot about in the past about our favorite things and the little things that really get us through. But I have to say that there’s things that have been getting me through lately that I just have stopped to actually reflect on.
Five years ago when I had left a bad marriage and I was in my first apartment and not knowing how anything was going to be accomplished and we hadn’t been acquired yet. And so I was still working for give and I didn’t have health insurance, I didn’t have all these things and I could not afford to do some of the things that I can do now. Like every other week, somebody comes and cleans my house and I live alone, so I keep it fairly neat and tidy, but they pick up that spot on the corner where I can’t reach that the cat puked, or they change my sheets, they clean my shower, the things that are more difficult for me to do. And being able to afford for somebody who’s good at doing that to come in and kind of save my butt from living in either squalor or a hoarder situation or whatever the case may be. Because it also keeps me on my toes to try to keep my place as neat and tidy as possible so that when they come in to clean, they get to clean right, instead of having to deal with clutter. So it’s just one of those little things. And then I had a friend come in this weekend and did all my laundry. Just did my laundry, folded it, put it away, hung things up. And that is something that shouldn’t be difficult to do, and yet it is if you’re not somebody who can walk and carry things at the same time. So just having somebody process through laundry and take me to Walmart because I can’t get in and out of Walmart without a riding cart by myself.
It’s just the little things like that that I never realized would become part of my life and the way that I live. But I definitely don’t want to take for granted because it has been something that really, on a day to day basis, makes it easier for me to manage little things like having a mini fridge in my home office, even though my refrigerator is just around the corner. Because walking during the middle of the day is not easy for me. So I have my courage, and I have my mini fridge all in that room so that I can continue to work and not be in pain doing things I need to do. And I have a mini fridge next to my bed, so if I wake up in the middle of the night and I’m parched, I have cold water right there.
I know I sound really privileged, and I am really privileged when I get to be able to say these things that I didn’t have the ability to do five or ten years ago. Yeah, I do feel blessed, and I do feel grateful for the things that I am able to do for myself, but also the things that I’m able to pay for and for the people who fill in the gaps between what I need and what I can afford. And all those things, too, which is good.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: Yeah, sometimes all those little things. I’ve noticed it’s. All of the little things that add up.
I’ve started a new role. So it’s like drinking from the fire hose, right? And there’s lots to learn. There’s lots going on in a leadership position. I’ve got a lot of information that I’m taking in. End of the day, I’m tired, I’m tired. It’s like, okay, I’m done. And yet there’s all these other things. So it’s like the little things then just start adding up.
Then you get a big thing, and then it’s like, I can’t deal. I cannot deal. I am not going to Walmart this weekend. Walmart is coming to me.
Walmart plus is, like, my favorite thing in the whole world. I don’t have to go into a Walmart. Oh, my gosh. I will pay extra for that. Yes, bring me all of those staples that I just do not want to have to go deal with. So that’s like, my little thing. Walmart plus has been like, I used to go to Target all the time, and I guess I could have done Target, like pickup or Target delivery or whatever, but for some reason, just like Walmart on the phone, just send it to me because I’m paying less. Right? Well, I have to pay tip, but I’m happy to pay the tip. So pricing is a little bit less, and they bring it to me in bags, and that all just shows up at my garage door. That’s where half the fridge stuff goes, like, right there.
Makes such a big difference.
[00:12:39] Speaker A: Same idea, I use a cart for my grocery delivery.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: That saves time. Saves physical energy and pain and everything else.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Traffic.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: Traffic, time, just everything.
Sometimes it’s like, I recognize the privilege and I’m grateful for it.
It’s okay that I’ve moved my way through life to a place where I can afford to do those things and make my life a little bit easier. And I don’t have to feel guilty about that, even though a lot of society tries to make you feel guilty about that kind of thing. But I think I also use my privilege for good things.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: There’s people who take private jets places, and there’s people who do bougie stuff all the time. Like, just small conveniences to make life easier so that you can have life.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: Needs to be more.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Here’s the thing. It’s like, we work hard. I know you work hard because I’ve seen you work.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: You’ve seen me work.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: We’re both very hardworking people, so we’re productive members of society. We’re not like, sitting around eating bon bonds, watching I don’t know, whatever people watch. Now.
[00:13:56] Speaker A: Back in the day, it was General Hospital.
[00:14:01] Speaker B: Back in the day it was but we need support because we’re supporting a lot. You’re doing a lot. You’ve got your mom and stepdad and everything that you’re doing in the WordPress community, all of the stuff that you’re uplifting and supporting, you need some support too. So I don’t think you should feel privileged like you’re being privileged at all about it. I feel like it’s like, no, when you’re doing more, you need more support.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: That’s true.
I like it. I’ll think about it that way from now on.
[00:14:35] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: Well, I think there’s a lot of.
[00:14:37] Speaker B: People who just, like, especially I’ve noticed a lot in WordPress, there’s a lot of people who give more than they receive. And it’s an open source community. It has to be like anybody who’s doing stuff, you’re giving a lot more. Nobody’s paying. A lot of these contributors, whether you’re showing up to speak at a Word camp or you’re donating core code, whatever you’re doing, you’re giving. Right? So I think that everybody who is in WordPress should open themselves up to receive more, whether it’s just DoorDashing, a meal, something where you’re supporting yourself, you’re allowing sort of like all of these modern conveniences that we have in order to support us so that we can give more. Because when you are less stressed and you don’t have all those little things piling up on you, you can give more. You can be more present. You can make the world a better place. And so people like WordPress people deserve to be taken care of.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: I think I like that. I think that’s very true. I think that’s awesome.
I work campus this year.
It was a simple thing, and it was just one of the most amazing things is like, David Wolfpaw brought me Starbucks every morning, found out what my favorite order was and brought me Starbucks every you know, and I made him take some money halfway through because, like, come on. Four days of Starbucks. Five days of Starbucks, whatever it was, that adds up, right?
But the fact that he wanted to and he would go stand in line and bring it back was just like amazing. And it got me through the day because it’s like somebody cared to help you start your day know? Kind of.
It’s it is. It’s the little things.
And it’s also having somebody like you that I can call up and vent to when I have everything falling apart.
My mother and my stepfather went in an emergency ambulance this morning kind of situation and be able to just put on that hat that says, this is fine. That’s going to be my hat. This is fine, this is fine, this is fine hat. So it doesn’t go on my headphones very well.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: Hopefully that will not be a permanent.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: Fixture in your life that you won’t.
[00:17:00] Speaker B: Need that just for now.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: Maybe I’ll attach it to a tiara.
[00:17:06] Speaker B: Yeah. I got to wear my tiara on Friday because there was a Halloween party type of thing, like Halloween costume contest. And I’m like, I have nothing, but I have a tiara. So that was my contribution.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: I love it.
I have tiaras at home, and I have tiaras here in the office. So I am never tiara less.
If anybody never knows what to get me as a gift, it’s like a tiara always fits. I don’t know why I love them so much, but I do. When I realized you could just buy them yourself and you don’t have to win a beauty pageant, I was like, thank God, because I want a freaking tiara and I don’t look good in a bikini. So there you go.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: There you go.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: We should start Miss Plus Size America.
Wait, miss over 50 Plus Size America. Then I would stand a chance.
There you go.
Okay. There you go. We should do something like that. I don’t know why. It would just be funny.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: Yeah, just for the kicks.
[00:18:15] Speaker A: Just for the lulls. Yeah, for the lulls. So funny. Anyway, well, I got nothing else. I don’t know if you get anything else. I’m good. This is didn’t even if you’re still listening and you’re like, they didn’t really say anything. Exactly. We’re like seinfeld today. It’s the show about nothing. And we’re okay with that because I don’t know about you, Kathy, but I am happier than when we started talking because you always raise.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: There we go.
Awesome. Hopefully about nothing.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: The show about nothing. So if we raise your spirits a little bit, too, let us know. We would love to hear it. We don’t ask for sponsorships. We don’t ask for patreons. We don’t ask for anything like that. But if you wanted to just send us a little note and say that our show makes you happy, we’ll take that. We’ll take that for sure.
[00:19:01] Speaker B: Payment enough.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Absolutely. Anyway, I don’t know when we’re recording again. We’ll figure it out. But until then, thanks so long, so much for being here on the ride with us. And thank you, Kathy. And we’ll see everybody on the next episode. Bye bye.
This has been WP Motivate with Kathy Zant and Michelle Frechette. To learn more or to sponsor us, go to wpmotivate.com.